Merlin/The lonely dark

[runaway_smith]

Elyan lies in bed, staring up at the ceiling. The covers are drawn up to his neck, fingers twisted in the sheets. His chambers are dark, the candle having burned out an hour before from the draught from the open window.

He has apologised to Arthur, sincerely and desperately, but he cannot help the events playing through his head. The terror of seeing the child, the mindlessness of needing to kill his king, his friend striking him down...

He doesn't remember much, except how he backed away in the armoury, only to end up back in his room, losing his grip on reality. But his face stung and he remembered Gwaine's fist...

Now he cannot sleep, mind haunted by the dark and his ears straining for the sound of dripping water. The shadows are dark, like jagged rocks. Did it move? Elyan sits up, clutching at the covers, watching the shadows.

The curtain blows in. Elyan screams.

Comments

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

Gwaine's just stumbling back to his rooms from the tavern when he hears the yell, and immediately his heart sinks. He knows who's voice that is, knows who's door it's coming from behind.

He'd stupidly thought this was all over.

Slamming through the doors of Elyan's chambers, his hands are ready in fists in case his friend should come flying at him, possessed still by a spirit.

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

As the door flies open, Elyan presses himself to the headboard, breathing harsh, and swallows another scream.

It's Gwaine. Gwaine ready for a fight, it seems.

"It's...it's fine," he gets out, heart hammering.

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

"Are you still possessed?" Gwaine doesn't tiptoe around the point, frowning at Elyan through the darkness as if somehow he'd be able to see it on his face.

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

"No," Elyan says shortly, clearing his throat. "Just..."

He trails off. He won't tell Gwaine he's afraid of the dark.

"I'll be fine. You can go."

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

"I'm not going anywhere," Gwaine declares, careful to keep himself between Elyan and the door as he moves closer to the bed. He'll keep the man from Arthur, or die trying, if he has to.

"You told me you were fine before."

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

Elyan rubs his eyes. "Arthur took care of it, Gwaine," he says tiredly. "I'm not possessed. You don't have to hit me again."

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

"Sure?"

It's a stupid question, but Gwaine's had more than a couple of drinks at the tavern, and Elyan doesn't sound like he had done, the last time he'd been in this situation. He still feels guilty, now, for not noticing the problem at the time,

"What were you screaming about, then?"

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

Elyan doesn't want Gwaine to think him any weaker than he already is, but it's clear he's not going to leave until he hears an explanation.

"I thought I saw something," he said quietly. "Just like when he was here."

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

"And is he?" Gwaine doesn't need to ask any more details to realise that Elyan's talking about the spirit. He can't decide whether his friend is just spooked, or whether he needs to be yelling for the guards.

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

"No." Elyan is terse with him now, wanting to get back to not-sleeping in peace.

"Apart from two lumps on my head, I'm good old Sir Elyan again. Feel free to drink all my water the next time I'm allowed out."

His words are slightly bitter, but he's not in the mood for Gwaine's suspicions.

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

Sighing, accepting Elyan's word as truth - for better or worse - Gwaine ignores the hints that he should be leaving and instead moves closer still, sitting himself down on the edge of the other man's bed.

"I'll not be drinking anything of yours again, don't you worry," he promises.

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

Despite his words, Elyan's glad that Gwaine's here. He doesn't want to be alone in the dark.

"Afraid you might catch something?"

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

"Afraid you might upset another spirit, more like," Gwaine chuckles into the dark.

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

Elyan pulls his covers closer around him and shivers. Gwaine may feel ready to joke about his encounter, but Elyan isn't. Either he or Arthur could've died today.

"Why are you here?" he says in a low voice.

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

"You were screaming," Gwaine reminds him.

"I wasn't just about to keep on walking by."

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

"Well, now you know the king's not in any danger from me..." Elyan says, trailing off as he realises Gwaine doesn't appear to be moving.

"You could've walked by," he said. "It's the least I deserve."

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

"I could've," Gwaine agrees with a nod, not moving from where he's perched himself on Elyan's bed.

"But that wouldn't have made me a very good friend, now, would it?"

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

"Good friends punch each other in the head?"

Elyan doesn't really mean that. He's tired and overwrought, but he can't deny that Gwaine's actions have been bothering him.

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

"I..." Gwaine's not good with talking through feelings, worse still at apologies, even when he knows they need to be given.

"Sorry, about that."

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

"Forget it," Elyan says easily. He knows he was out of his mind and his head hurts less than his pride.

"Percival did the same."

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

"I learnt to fight in tavern brawls," Gwaine feels he should give an explanation, even if Elyan wants the subject forgotten.

"I warned you to back off. There's only so much shoving a man can take before instinct takes over."

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

Elyan reaches for Gwaine's arm. "It's all right. I don't remember much of it."

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

"You were... mad, Elyan," Gwaine keeps going, knows that if Elyan lets him stop then he'll never get this out.

"We all swore to protect the king. We couldn't ignore our duty. Though none of us wished any serious harm to come to you."

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

"I know, Gwaine," he says, rubbing his friend's arm soothingly. "Arthur always comes first. I...I would have have forgiven myself if..."

He trails off, unable to even say the words. The unthinkable.

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

"No one blames you, now," Gwaine offers, not sure how much comfort it would be.

"And I'm sure you'd have done the same, if it'd had been me who'd seen the spirit."

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

"I doubt you would have been so weak," Elyan says, rubbing his face with his palm.

"The salt didn't work, by the way."

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

"Weak men don't make the knights," Gwaine points out. "We train far too much to ever be considered that."

He smiles at the mention of salt, not suspecting any other response. "Not surprised. Don't believe in the stuff, personally."

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

Elyan scowls. "Last time I take your advice on ghosts."

He feels better talking to Gwaine, his mind more at ease. He absently realises he's still touching Gwaine's arm, but doesn't feel like moving his hand just yet.

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

"Do you want some candles lighting, or anything?" Gwaine turns his mind to practical solutions, now that the awkward apologies are out of the way. He thinks the man may sleep better with some light to keep shadows at bay.

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

"I'll get them," Elyan says, climbing out of bed and padding towards the drawer in his cabinet. Removing a couple of long tallow candles, he hands one to Gwaine and places the other in the holder by his bedside.

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

Carrying the candle out into the hall beyond Elyan's chamber door, Gwaine lights the wick from one of the burning torches lining the walls. Carrying it back inside, he touches the flame to the candle at Elyan's bedside, before placing the first candle on top of his chest.

"That's better," he decides.

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

With the shadows receding, Elyan lets out a small sigh of relief.

"Thank you," he says gratefully.

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

Brushing his hands off, satisfied he's done all that he can, Gwaine turns for the door again.

Pausing before he leaves, he turns back to look at his friend. "You know I'm right down the hallway, if... you need me."

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

Elyan hesitates. He doesn't want to be alone, but he won't ask Gwaine to stay.

"Thanks," he says, with a small smile.

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

"I'll keep an ear out, for any more screaming. Just in case." Gwaine grins, trying to say that he'll be there if Elyan needs him to be.

[runaway-smith.livejournal.com]

Elyan smiles and climbs back into his bed, fiddling awkwardly with his blanket.

"No more screaming," he promises.

[sir-gwaine.livejournal.com]

"Good night, Sir Elyan," Gwaine nods, and quietly slips out of the other man's chambers.